The Mother Land Reports

Dragon

2006-05-23T22:28:00.000-11:00

To guard the princesses I steal I need a dragon. A big dragon. As in a large fire breathing sparkling beast that gobbles up knights who don't mind there own business. Such a dragon shall live in my castle. This dragon's name will be.................................................................................Ted.
Ted will be red.
He breaths fire.
He gobbles up knights.
He doesn't like carrots.
He doesn't like black people. (unless they are that color due to his fiery breath)
He does like long walks on the beach with smoking hot purple dragons named Nancy.
To any knights reading this who might pose a threat to my castle Ted does not like long walks on the beach with smoking hot purple dragons named Nancy.

When Ted is out on long wa... er ... burning villages, I hire a band of ill tempered Amazon Warriors to guard the castle. Since they of course hate men no knights are able to get into the castle.

All questions and concerns must be submitted in writing.
To all black people and or knights... If this offended you in anyway I am sorry. My dragon is racist and I do not like meddling knights stealing my women. If you happen to be a Black Knight..... Die.

Castle Plans

2006-01-21T17:34:00.000-11:00

This is where the most beautiful woman in all the lands will be kept. She shall be gaurded by a dragon on the lower level, arhers in the two towers on the right and left, and some Legion of Terror home gaurds in the main tower. NOW try taking her you foolish knights!

Recruting:

2005-12-11T17:20:00.000-11:00

http://quizilla.com/users/drag5478/quizzes/Are%20YOU%20fit%20to%20be%20in%20the%20Legion%20of%20Terror%3F/

Please exuse some of the horrible spelling. Its not all that fancy like some of them, but i wouldent say its horrible eaither.

ALL HAIL IVAN

Muhahahahahahahaha

2005-12-08T16:08:00.000-11:00

How evil are you?

Attention:

2005-12-07T17:45:00.000-11:00

NOTICE:

Your great future leader, Ivan, has asked for a truce. Due to rival factions trying to take over the world I'm attempting to get a truce with a peace loving faction.

My terms where this:

My Legion of Terror shall pave the way for you to come to power on a continent of your choosing.

You want only women in your society so I shall send men over to you for breeding purposes.

I will make sure if any other factions arise they will be smashed to keep your country war free and peacefull.

So they have the peacefull lives and I offer them protection and a continent. Seems fair to me.

ALL HAIL IVAN

To Whom Ever This May Concern.

2005-11-30T17:04:00.000-11:00

NOTICE:

My pet duck, also second in comand, has turned up missing. General Quacks was amassing troups in Europe last week and I went to check on his progress over the weekend. When I got there I found that Quacks was gone and I belive that fowl play was involved. If you take Quacks back to his command by the end of this week you will not be punished.

ALL HAIL IVAN

Oh by the way I lied. When you return Quacks you will be arested, raped, beaten, bruised, shot, stabed, drawn and quartered, burnt, and have your fingernails removed right before you are beheaded. Have a wonderfull day.

Well... um...

2005-11-22T16:44:00.000-11:00

Your almighty ruler seems to be well... grounded. Yes, sad I know. That is the reason I have not been posting of late. I know you all miss my inspiring posts and all, but bear with me here.

ALL HAIL IVAN

Princess Olso...

2005-11-14T15:49:00.000-11:00

Princess Olso has also gave me some more ideahs for the law below.

-fat people do not belong in mosh pits-

-or in large crowds at concerts-

Anyone breaking these will be treated less harshley and givin a warning before being branded...

ALL HAIL IVAN

2nd Law

2005-11-10T10:42:00.000-11:00

Law of Dress

All girls thinking to wear thong underwear, bikinis, or other revealing clothes must first seek aproval from a personally selected board of 7 people. One of which will be me and the other 6 will be of my choosing(2 will be female). Anyone that does not follow this rule and wears it anyway will have COW branded on there forehead and they will live happily naked in a pasture on an island with other happy naked and branded cows. That is all.

ALL HAIL IVAN

1st law

2005-11-09T18:05:00.000-11:00

Freedom of religion.

Yes all you punny knaves can worship whatever the hell you want be it turtles, spirts, or underpants. The Legion of Terror will only step in if you are discracing your Czar or the mother land. That will be all.

ALL HAIL IVAN